If Only

By Jan M. Smith 2009

The season of love has passed my door

The hour of sunshine is fading fast

The year of passion lingers unrequited

And the memory of a lover leaves a tear

How high are those mountains that we build in our lives

To climb and cross over to our success

That once we get there we are grasping for the next ring of silver

But our mirrors do not lie and it is over at last

If we could walk through those same meadows filled with sunlight still

And linger with the film fallen from our eyes

And if life’s worries and stresses could be put to the side

Would we hold each other tight, only to each other abide?

Or would we, as did Adam and Eve, find a way to destroy our lives

Take what could be perfect, what should be ideal

And twist it until we no longer saw ourselves in the play

But two strangers lost in pain leaving innocent children to pay.

I have loved you more than I could ever have hoped to love

I have given you all that was within me to give

I surely could have expressed it better and made you feel good

But in my heart there was no more room for you to live

The great white sadness that comes over me and threatens my air

Is the deep despair at what could have been for our old time in our life

We will grow old together and hold hands as we die

But so much was lost, such precious devotion given, unrequited

You were the love of my life, you hear those words

But you were the love of my life, my life

This is the only life that I get, my just one

And I gave it to you, just to you. Why not just me?