Lost

By Jan Martin Smith

Somedays I am just lost
I cannot find the edges of my life
My toes run out of the lines
My soul is in pain

Sometimes I feel better when I am lost
It is scary out in the bright of day
Because my life is so God awful
I never knew that I would end up this way

The price that I paid has been so high
To adhere to a vow that was taken
To believe in what no man could take asunder
How could I have been so deadly mistaken

My heart is splintered and broken
My love wasted on a barren soul
A soul that never should have spoken
Any vow before God, have become a spouse

Somedays my mind bleeds wide open
And longs for what I thought that he was
Humiliation and heartache are my constant companions
I no longer embrace happiness nor love.